Hello

Hello, I'm (the) Drolgerg.

I've just had a birthday (25 again) & I'm not happy. I got a birthday present from someone called 'Mick' (not his real name) - legal papers. Thanks Micky! He's suing me for a kitchen refit he didn't want to finish that I funnily enough haven't finished paying him for. “Finish the job & I’ll finish paying you, no pay me & I’ll finish the job, no…” you get the picture. He’s a B*stard. In case you can read, Mick, we're countersuing for squillions - yeah! My new boiler doesn't work either. The bloke who put that in is also a B*stard. My legal team is being briefed (I met this bloke called Dave down the pub & I need to return his underpants – har har). Where are all these London Poles (isn't that a basketball team - if not it should be) I keep hearing about – some of them should move here to the Midlands - I've got plenty of work for them!

On the other hand (back to my birthday) my in-laws gave me £50, which was nice (my wife just read this my first ever blog - her reaction: "have you 'phoned to say "thank you" yet?"; she also corrected my spelling), my sister gave me a nice book (Peter Jackson: From Gore to Mordor) & my nice wife gave me some nice chocolate. I want a Wii - & not because my bladder isn't what it used to be (not very good) & I drink a lot, although that's true. The deal : my nice wife pays for it as a combined Xmas / birthday prezzie but I have to get it; I can't however find 1 for love nor money. (Actually that's not true: I found some for more than we/she are/is prepared to pay, & my offers of sexual favours were scorned - you would think those spotty kids in the game shops would be less choosy).

Anyway, I feel the need for a 'phone-call to my Mother-in-Law coming on, so I'd better go.